Being a “college-to-be” in one of the most prestigious universities (not to mention, my dream university), Paramore’s song, "Ain’t it fun", really hits me hard, realizing that I am not the “top shift” and I am just everyone else, that I am just another shit in this big dog park. I learned that it’s more tougher than it looks, you know, being alone and independent, (because someday you really need to face the world alone) (don’t go cryin’ to your momma, because you’re all alone, in the real world~) (The thing is, I always go crying to my mom if I can’t handle things -.- ugh the irony). But to be honest, besides that I’m really querulous about that actuality, I’m a bit excited about it. I’m an extrovert, I have no troubles with meeting and making friends, with new people, because this time, i am the outsider. Uhmmm… Well my real dilemma is…
IDK. Can I survive? Can I handle it? Can I bear being away from my parents who’s with me through any edges I come across?
Going to a college miles away from home, living in a dorm with 4 people who are complete strangers to me. Yes, I have to get my head in the game, I REALLY need to adapt in a unfamiliar environment full of unfamiliar kin. And with all the pressure that I feel that I should really do good in that university, i can’t help it, but i really feel concerned, that, what if their expectations were not met? Also, my expectations for myself too. Well of course, I will really exert my full shot in my stay there, and being an aspiring doctor? I will never waste my time, because I would never want to see my parent’s efforts go to waste.
And now, I fully understand, that in this interval, my “dark horse” or foe is not my classmates, it is myself.